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Monday, August 2, 2010

Kicking Things Off...

In the works for about a year, the maiden post of THTF is finally here. Primarily dedicated to both the pursuit and consumption of Scoville Units, this blog will also be a repository of links, images, videos, stories, and thoughts that I find to have a high degree of value (whether they are intellectual, comedic, or just downright nerdy is up to the reader to decide).

While US History teaches us to dream big and aim for the stars, a pragmatic (i.e. jaded) person like myself quickly learns it is both easier and more satisfying to actually set a low bar; as such I'm planning on 1-2 posts a month. (Interpretation: This will not likely move to the top of your Chrome Browsing History and displace the current URL and its daily/most viewed/top rated videos.....*)

Wow, before I even get into the meat of this first post, I'm going to have to make a quick comment: Three minutes into my experience here, blogspot seems to SUCK! Are they seriously limiting me to 8 brutal fonts, with one of them being Webdings????** While I'm partial to Calibri (and a little Garamond when I'm trying to get official with it), it appears that blogspot also fails to have Tahoma and Chiller. Noobs. /end rant

But anyway, back to the lecture at hand;Scoville Units. Why make a blog about them you ask? It's very simple. Taking down hot sauce (and salsa/hot peppers/etc) is one of the most tasty, yet satisfying activities out there. A true chilihead hones his skill over the course of years, constantly pushing the boundaries of taste, flavor, and heat. Starting with basic sauces like Melinda's and Frank's found at a grocery store, you graduate to Sriracha and El Yucateco. At this point you are more skilled than the average bear, but still nothing special. I love talking to people at this stage in their career, and hear them gloat about their prowess at handling the heat, and how they have this sick sauce (Srirachi) that I have to try. I smile and nod, and then pray I'm there the day they try the Phaal curry to impress their drunk friends. But for the dedicated few that still want to progress, you make your first real milestone when you take down some 100k sauces (da bomb, dave's, blair's sudden death). From here on out, it's just onward and upward to bigger and better things like Mad Dog, Liquid st00pid, Possible Side-Effects, etc. And then finally once you hit 7 figures and beyond, you get into the zone where everyone gets pwned. But that's the fun of it!

So net-net (yeah, i'm a finance nerd), in addition to improving the taste, hot sauce consumption turns the basic task of eating into a competitive and fun challenge. And the fact that it is a natural aphrodisiac and a kickass counter-terrorism weapon is pretty cool too...

Ok, well that's enough for today. I think next time I'll take some pictures of my hot sauce collection, and maybe shed a little more light on the Scoville Scale for any new chiliheads that read this.*** Have a good weekend, it's noon and i'm already counting down the minutes to GTFO of the office.

*Yes, that website. The one you constantly trying to delete from your browsing history, but still somehow always awkwardly autocompletes when a friend (primarily of the opposite sex) hops on your computer and begins to type "www.p" when they try and pull up pandora

Ha the webdings font doesn't even work. This should be showing up as a bunch of queer symbols and hieroglyphics.... but it isn't. b-side

*** Not sure who I'm kidding, as I doubt anyone (hot sauce n00b or otherwise) is even reading this blog... oh well.

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