Two Random Stories? I Think Not

Story One: In December 2002, PH and I participated in a grandiose squash tournament entitled the "Tennis and Racquet Club Holiday Juniors Open". As it happened, this event occured neither at a tennis nor a racquet club, but instead took place at MIT. Anyway, I was in my second year of playing and he was in his first, so this was likely one of the first tournaments we had ever been in. While I can't fully recall the actual outcome (I seem to remember beating PH in 4 in the finals, but maybe that's just wishful thinking), one specific incident from the tournament vividly stands out; PH's first round match. After warming up against his opponent, they come off court for a final drink of water before playing. PH spins his racquet (some busty thing like this as I recall) for serve, and the opponent calls D. Sure enough, the D-Spot. As expected, the opponent elects to serve. In a less expected move, the opponent turns to PH and in loud voice says

"GET READY FOR THE MEAT-GRINDER!"

I think it took PH 5 points to get over his laughter to where he was able to actually hit the ball, at which point he ran off a 3 game win in quick order. After the match the opponent slunk off the court, and was never seen in the squash world again. So while the Meatgrinder might have retired from the game, the word was firmly cemented in our lexicon and is still used today.

Story Two: A logical step in a hot sauce connoisseur's development is to get to the point where he makes his own sauces. Years of experience with different flavors, types of peppers, and heat levels provide a wealth of potential combinations to try. Personally, I am really intrigued to create a scotch bonnet sauce with milk chocolate, a Serrano sauce with apple vinegar, and a Jalapeno sauce with SOUR PATCH KIDS. Obviously to make such a sauce, you need a device that is able to chop foodstuff up into small pieces. While a n00b might think that a blender is the requisite tool, a food processor is really the way to go. After doing some research factoring in market reviews, my disposable income, and the potential monetary upside from inventing Sriracha's replacement, I decided to go with the Black and Decker FP2510S. I mean come on, it's a must-have for a serious chef!



PUNCHLINE:

I bought the food processor from Overstock. The clever part of that decision was that I got 10% off from my purchase. The dumb part of that decision was that I now am part of Overstock's mailing (spam) list, subjecting my poor gmail account to 10+ emails a day. However, I received a beauty of an email today that made it all worth while. Unlike the overused and factually incorrect "LOL!" of today's youth, I actually burst into auditory laughter upon receipt of the below email.



After a long hiatus, The MEATGRINDER lives on!