Despite my lack of content during the month of February, Writer's block is not a condition I suffer from. Instead, I suffer from its lesser known (but equally debilitating) ugly cousin; Slothful Blogger Syndrome. I have had many brilliant ideas over the past month, but just couldn't be bothered to put them down on paper. Pretty pathetic, I know. But coming across some unbelievable data today has jolted me out of my slump, and inspired me to bring some factoids to my disloyal (Note: I get a daily email showing me page views, so I know EXACTLY how disloyal you guys really are.....) readers. So without further adieu, I bring you:
Why I Am Embarrassed To Be An American
The top twenty condiments purchased annually in America total over $2.1 billion in revenues. Comprised of an estimated 751 million units sold, this represents an average sales price of approximately $2.80 per condiment. I know that my fridge (70 hot sauces, 1 ketchup, 0 mayo, and a lot of BEER) is likely not representative of the average man, but I didn't think I was too far off the mark as I generally like to have an optimistic outlook on the quality of my fellow Americans (which would imply they had tastes as refined/sophisticated as mine!). That being said, this condiment data has dramatically shifted my opinion. The disturbing facts are as follows:
1) The most popular condiment in the US (holding 7 of the top 20 spots, and 49% of total revenue) is Mayonnaise! GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Seriously mayo is the worst thing on the planet. I can't tell you how many times I've had to throw out food from various sandwich stores due to the inclusion of mayo on my friggin Italian sub. What were they thinking? And not only does it taste horrendous, but it also is terrible for you. And with an average price point of $3.36, it is the most expensive condiment you can buy. America, L2 shop!
Awful Taste + Instantly puts on the pounds= FAIL. No wonder America is obese as hell.
2) Hot Sauce comprises only 4% of revenues! Hands down the best possible condiment (hot sauce literally makes ever type of food other than ice cream taste better), hot sauce is extremely under-represented. With only 33mm units sold per year, I personally am buying about 0.0002% of the total turnover. Come on people, step the F up! Quit buying ipods and ipads, and start buying some quality sauces like Gator Hammock or the Beast. Which brings me to my third and final gripe.....
3) Frank's Red Hot is the number one selling hot sauce in the US! ZOMG...... what part of "THIS SAUCE BLOWS" do people not understand? It's almost unfair to call it a hot sauce, as it registers a feeble 450 scoville units. A bell pepper is literally the ONLY PEPPER on the whole planet that is less spicy than this thing. So embarrasing that not only is hot sauce 4% of revs, but it is over 50% dominated by Frank's Red (not)Hot. The one other sauce is Tabasco. While not in my top 40 as far as favorite sauces go, I do respect Tabasco for blazing the hot sauce trail (similar to how Dave's original insanity blazed the trail for ACTUALLY hot sauces...) so can't say anything negative about it.
The One Silver Lining To the Otherwise Frightening Data:
At least Salsa outsells Ketchup on a revenue basis (though disconcertingly it does so only because of its higher ASP, it still lags on a unit basis ). If Ketchup>Salsa, I'd literally hand-in my passport right now and try a little reverse border-crossing into Mexico. At least there the number one selling hot sauce in the country is legit (El Yucateco)
Underlying Data courtesy of Symphony IRI Group
(and laboriously compiled into the below tables during a demoralizing Friday afternoon at the office while my stock picks were getting smoked)
| Category | Revenue | Sales (units) | Unit Price | |||||||
| Mayo | $1,040,771,390 | 309,730,069 | $3.36 | |||||||
| Salsa | $447,411,960 | 148,723,524 | $3.01 | |||||||
| Ketchup | $352,564,010 | 169,288,420 | $2.08 | |||||||
| Mustard | $178,881,080 | 90,306,070 | $1.98 | |||||||
| HotSauce | $84,479,850 | 33,122,350 | $2.55 | |||||||
| Rank | Company | Category | Revenue | Sales (units) | Unit Price | |||||
| 1 | Hellman | Mayo | $401,204,800 | 114,503,900 | $3.50 | |||||
| 2 | Tostito | Salsa | $286,239,700 | 88,308,500 | $3.24 | |||||
| 3 | Heinz | Ketchup | $278,647,900 | 114,466,800 | $2.43 | |||||
| 4 | Best Foods | Mayo | $175,221,400 | 47,707,840 | $3.67 | |||||
| 5 | Kraft Miracle Whip | Mayo | $163,491,100 | 48,741,980 | $3.35 | |||||
| 6 | Kraft Classic | Mayo | $159,494,100 | 53,164,700 | $3.00 | |||||
| 7 | French's Classic | Mustard | $88,099,770 | 50,975,970 | $1.73 | |||||
| 8 | Kraft Flavored | Mayo | $79,211,620 | 24,225,870 | $3.27 | |||||
| 9 | Pace | Salsa | $74,117,570 | 23,080,890 | $3.21 | |||||
| 10 | Hunt | Ketchup | $73,916,110 | 54,821,620 | $1.35 | |||||
| 11 | Grey Poupon | Mustard | $44,943,710 | 13,244,600 | $3.39 | |||||
| 12 | Frank's | HotSauce | $43,907,580 | 16,397,280 | $2.68 | |||||
| 13 | Tabasco | HotSauce | $40,572,270 | 16,725,070 | $2.43 | |||||
| 14 | Duke | Mayo | $39,889,620 | 13,826,190 | $2.89 | |||||
| 15 | Chi-Chi | Salsa | $34,640,500 | 12,948,640 | $2.68 | |||||
| 16 | Herdez | Salsa | $27,170,240 | 14,893,080 | $1.82 | |||||
| 17 | French's Flavored | Mustard | $25,713,740 | 13,042,750 | $1.97 | |||||
| 18 | Newman's Own | Salsa | $25,243,950 | 9,492,414 | $2.66 | |||||
| 19 | Blue Plate | Mayo | $22,258,750 | 7,559,589 | $2.94 | |||||
| 20 | Gulden | Mustard | $20,123,860 | 13,042,750 | $1.54 |
